Today, thankfully, was the last day in a job that didn't exactly fit. It was also the day after a weekend where I had a bit of soul searching and found that, to be honest, I've been trying too hard. I've been pushing against my work, trying to squeeze too much in (and at the same time make myself some breathing room), pushing my relationship too hard and taking my incredible life for granted. Why have I been doing this? I've been doubting myself, overthinking EVERYTHING, feeling that I'm not quite good enough and trying to overcompensate by doing everything as BIG as I can.
What to do about this?
This year has been a year of finding myself and finding direction and balance. I started this with the three circles of balanced well-being that I've heard of a few times, AKA PIE:
To this, over time I added three other circles of well-being that are important to me in my life: the Spiritual, Creative and Social. I now regularly check in with my circle of SPICES and how I'm faring. If I'm not feeling great (or trying too hard) it generally means that one or more of these circles is lacking. When it is, I look for why and try to address it.
My next step is affirmations. I've started by doing something that I've talked about for ages. Defined affirmations. These are a list of attributes that I value in myself AND that I currently exhibit, they are not aspirational. There are two affirmations for each of my SPICES, and a couple of free form affirmations for me to remind myself of each day and when I feel that I need it. What are they?
- Spiritual - I am centered, I am calm
- Physical - I am fit, I am healthy
- Intellectual - I am interesting, I am learning
- Creative - I am inspired, I see beauty in anything
- Emotional - I am open, I am sensitive
- Social - I am engaged, I am engaging.
- I am diverse
- I am honest
- I am bold
- I have fun!
- I am a little bit silly
- I take my time
- I am Dan
- I live for me
I feel better already.